Lord Gawain's Forbidden Mistress Read online

  The knight turned his head. Gawain. Her heart turned over. It couldn’t be, but it was. Elise jerked back and peered through the screen of people in front of her. Gawain.

  Her mind raced. Gawain wasn’t supposed to be in Troyes! Elise wouldn’t have dreamed of coming back if she’d known he was in town. Why was he here?

  Everyone knew that Gawain’s uncle, the Count of Meaux, had died and that Gawain had inherited. Gawain was supposed to be safely in the Ile-de-France, settling into his new county. This could be very awkward. That man gave me a daughter and I never told him. Lord, what shall I do?

  Elise watched him ride through the arch, a strange cramp in her belly. Gawain’s hair was fairer than it had been last winter. Sun-bleached. His face was bronzed and more handsome than she remembered. The cramp intensified. She hadn’t wanted to see him.

  He’s supposed to be in Meaux.

  How could Blanchefleur le Fay perform with Gawain in town? If he came to the palace when she was singing, he’d be bound to recognise her. And then the questions would start. And the recriminations. He would find out about Pearl, and then...

  Briefly, Elise closed her eyes. She really didn’t want to face him. And it wasn’t just because last year when they had met she’d parried most of his questions about her life as a singer. She’d told him as little as possible. She wasn’t sure how he would react when he learned that Pearl was his. What if he wanted to take Pearl from her? He wouldn’t do that, surely?

  The new Count of Meaux and his squire turned away from her, the crowd parting to let their horses through. Elise stared at Gawain’s back, at his wide shoulders, and wondered whether he was the type of man who would want to bring up his child. If only she knew him better. Most knights would gladly wash their hands of any responsibility for their illegitimate children. She looked through the crowd at his fair head, heart beating like a drum. A count might do anything he wished.

  Dear Heaven, Gawain—here in Troyes. This changed everything.

  Lord, he was looking over his shoulder. Her heart leaped into her throat. He was looking right at her! Shrinking back, she trod on someone’s foot.

  A woman scowled at her. ‘Watch it!’

  ‘My apologies,’ Elise muttered.

  Turning away, she stumbled into the Rue du Bois.

  Her mind was in chaos, but one thought dominated. Gawain Steward, Count of Meaux, was in Troyes, and he had seen her. Heart pumping, she kept her head down and pushed her way through a group of merchants talking by the entrance to one of the cloth halls.

  ‘Excuse me. My pardon, sir.’

  ‘Elise? Elise!’

  Gawain was about twenty yards behind her and the air was full of noise—the braying of a mule, the honking of a goose—yet she heard the jingle of harness. Hoofbeats. She stopped dead in her tracks, eyes fixed on a small girl clinging to her mother’s skirts. What was the point? She couldn’t outrun him. True, the street was busy and she might dive into an alley, but there were children here and that brute of a horse was trained to barrel its way through anything. Someone might get hurt.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she turned. Her mind was a complete blank. She didn’t have the first idea how she would greet him. Lord Gawain, what a pleasant surprise. I trust you are in good health. By the by, I had a baby. I am hoping she will have your eyes. Heavens, she couldn’t say that. She didn’t want to tell him about Pearl. She needed time to think, but it didn’t look as though she was going to get it.

  ‘Elise? Elise Chantier?’

  Elise stood quite still as he approached, steeling herself not to back away from that great bay. The animal might look ungovernable, but Gawain could control him. She craned her neck to look up at him.

  ‘Lord Gawain!’ She dropped him a curtsy. ‘What a pleasant surprise.’

  There was a creak of leather as he dismounted and gestured at his squire to take the reins. He offered Elise his arm. ‘Walk with me.’

  Elise tipped her head on one side and managed a smile. ‘Is that a command, my lord?’

  He was taller than she had remembered. Larger. The sound and colour of the busy street faded as she looked at him. At those deep brown eyes—how could she have forgotten those grey flecks? Or those long eyelashes? And his nose, that aquiline shape was so distinctive. Elise had loved his nose. She had liked to run her finger down it as a prelude to a kiss. His mouth... As her gaze skimmed over it, she felt her smile freeze. His mouth was tight. He looked...not angry, exactly. He looked weary. How strange. He didn’t look like a man who had just inherited a vast estate.

  ‘Walk with me, Elise.’

  ‘Yes, my lord.’

  Gawain glanced at his squire. ‘Meet me in half an hour, Aubin. Outside the castle gatehouse.’

  ‘Yes, mon seigneur.’

  * * *

  When Elise put her hand lightly on his sleeve, Gawain, Count of Meaux, let out a relieved sigh. Gawain had been looking for Elise and he was pleased—far more pleased than he ought to be—to have found her. He set off in the direction of the Preize Gate. ‘It will be quieter once we get clear of the streets round the market,’ he said.

  Elise smiled and nodded and pushed her veil over her shoulder. Her cheeks were flushed. It was too warm for a cloak and Gawain could see the rise and fall of her breasts beneath her gown. He frowned. There was something different about her. Her eyes were the same, and her face...but something was different.

  ‘I didn’t expect to see you, my lord. I thought you were in the Ile-de-France.’

  ‘You heard about my uncle.’

  She nodded and looked away. ‘I expect you will be leaving again soon.’

  Something about her tone grated. Gawain frowned thoughtfully at her profile. ‘That would please you?’

  Her colour deepened to crimson and he imagined he saw a flash of guilt. What could she have to feel guilty about? Last winter she had enjoyed their time together as much as he had. There was no question of that. He couldn’t have misread her so badly. She is hiding something.

  ‘Not at all, my lord,’ she murmured. ‘It is good to see you.’

  Gawain decided not to probe. If she wanted to keep things from him, that was up to her. There was, after all, no real connection between them. Once he had reassured himself that all was well with her, he could forget all about her. He had his own life to lead. He was about to meet his betrothed, Lady Rowena de Sainte-Colombe. ‘You found the ribbon you were looking for?’

  She shot him a startled glance. ‘You’ve been to the pavilion.’

  Elise was walking discreetly at his side. There were several inches between them and Gawain didn’t like it. He was taken with the impulse to wind his hand round her waist and bring her closer. Instead, he gave her a curt nod. ‘A friend mentioned seeing you in Strangers’ City.’

  She was silent for a space. ‘A Guardian Knight, I assume. I’ve seen their patrols.’

  He nodded. ‘When I found your tent, the woman who lives with you told me you’d gone to buy ribbon.’ Gawain put his hand on her arm. ‘Elise, how have you been? Is all well with you?’

  ‘I am very well, my lord.’

  ‘That is good to hear. Did you find the success you were after?’

  ‘My lord?’

  ‘Your ambitions as a chanteuse.’

  The colour went from her cheeks. ‘I...I haven’t done as much singing as I thought I would.’

  ‘Oh?’ Gawain watched her whilst he waited for her answer. It struck him that they were addressing one another as though they’d only just met. A potter hurried past leading a donkey laden with pots. The man would never suspect that they’d been lovers. Elise hadn’t answered and Gawain leaned in. The scent of her—a heady combination of musk and ambergris and warm woman—hit him like a blow to his stomach. He almost groaned out loud. Elise. She had been the perfect bed
mate.

  ‘You left without warning,’ Gawain heard himself say. The words were out before he could stop them.

  Dark eyes watched him. Large and unfathomable. She’d never been an easy woman to read. Except when they were in bed. She’d been a rare joy in bed. And not only that—she’d had enough experience to know which herbs to take to stop her conceiving. Yes, a rare joy indeed. But this woman staring up at him was unfathomable. ‘I had to leave.’ Slender shoulders lifted. ‘My time in Champagne was over.’

  ‘Because you’d found everything you needed to know about your sister?’

  ‘Yes, my lord. Once it was clear that Morwenna’s death had been an accident, I had no reason to stay.’ She smiled. ‘I had to get back to my singing. And my friends expected me to return. My life is with them.’

  ‘So you had no reason to stay.’

  Those unfathomable eyes didn’t as much as blink. ‘Sir—my lord—what are you saying?’

  Gawain took Elise’s slender wrist and tugged her off the street and under the eaves of one of the houses. A peculiar tightness was centred in his chest. He couldn’t account for it, although he suspected it had something to do with Elise.

  ‘There was nothing lasting between us,’ he muttered.

  ‘Gawain, why are you looking at me like that?’

  ‘God forgive me,’ he said, pulling her close. One arm slid round her waist and the moment her body was aligned with his, Gawain’s tension eased. Better. He caught her by the chin and tilted her face up—her mouth lay a mere inch away. He breathed in the subtle fragrance of musk and ambergris. Better still. Did she taste the same as she had done last winter? She’d been sweet as honey. His eyes fixed on her lips.

  ‘Gawain?’

  His mouth met hers in a whisper of a kiss. There’d been nothing between them, yet he hadn’t wanted her to leave. And until this moment he hadn’t realised how strongly he’d missed her. How much he’d enjoyed his time with her.

  ‘Elise,’ Gawain muttered, as he came up briefly for air. She tasted just as sweet. Enchanting. And then he was kissing her again. Hungrily. Eagerly. She was more of an armful—more womanly—than she had been last winter. He liked the difference. A thrill shot through him as their tongues touched. It felt as it had always felt with Elise, that she had been made for him.

  He slid his hand down the curve of her buttock and lifted his head with some reluctance. ‘Mon Dieu, Elise. I know we made no vows to each other, but you didn’t even say goodbye. I worried about you.’

  She was breathless and it was pleasing to see the roses back in her cheeks. She wasn’t unmoved. He hadn’t liked to think that she’d found it easy to walk away without as much as a backward glance.

  ‘I...I am sorry, my lord.’ She eased back, fingering her mouth, which was flushed from his kiss. ‘Was...was that a farewell kiss?’

  As Gawain released her, he noted with surprise that it went very much against the grain to do so. Lord, this woman was a trial to him. She had been from the beginning. A quiet shy woman who had him in knots without even trying. He would have liked to continue kissing her, but of course he shouldn’t have kissed her in the first place. It hadn’t helped. It had made him long for more, which was impossible. He must think about his future. He was going to marry Lady Rowena de Sainte-Colombe. However, it was hard to think about Lady Rowena, whom he had never met, when Elise was looking up at him with that dark, hard-to-read look in her eyes. She fascinated him.

  He leaned his hip against the corner of the house. ‘You may call it a farewell kiss if you wish. Elise, I came to find you because I need to know you are well. That woman you live with—’

  ‘Vivienne. She’s a good friend.’

  ‘You’ve known her for long? Is she a chanteuse?’

  ‘I’ve known Vivienne long enough and, no, she’s not a chanteuse.’

  ‘What of her husband, then? Is he a good man?’

  ‘Vivienne isn’t married.’

  Gawain’s gut tightened. ‘You’re not telling me that you and Vivienne are living unprotected in a tent in Strangers’ City?’

  ‘Of course not. André lives with us.’

  ‘Who the devil is André?’

  ‘Vivienne’s lover.’

  ‘The father of the twins?’

  ‘Twins?’ For a moment her face was quite blank. Then she gave a bright smile. ‘Oh, yes. The twins.’

  ‘Is André a good man?’ Gawain asked. Was it his imagination or was her smile a shade too bright? And why was she avoiding his gaze? ‘Tell me about him.’

  Her face softened. ‘I am very fond of him.’

  ‘He’s a singer?’

  ‘André plays the lute. We perform together.’

  Gawain swallowed a sigh. Her answers were very brief. She was being evasive, and what she had said about her living arrangements wasn’t reassuring.

  Had her ambitions as a singer led her into bad company? Vivienne had seemed nice enough, but he would have to meet this André before he’d feel happy about Elise sharing the man’s tent with his woman and children. And even if André was perfectly honest, was he capable of defending Elise in a crisis? Gawain didn’t number any lute-players among his friends. In the event of a robbery or worse, was André strong enough to protect her? And even if he was, he had his woman and children to look out for. Could he look after Elise too? If Gawain met the man he could judge for himself. Clearly, Elise had the will to pursue her ambitions as a singer, but she needed someone strong at her side.

  ‘So you’re happy in your life as a singer?’

  ‘Singing is very fulfilling.’

  ‘I am glad you find it so.’ He pushed away from the corner of the house. ‘You are on your way back to the camp?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Allow me to accompany you.’ With luck, by the time they got back to the pavilion, André the lute-player would have returned. You could tell a lot from a man by looking him in the eye.

  She backed hastily away. ‘My lord, I can manage without your escort.’

  Elise was looking at him in complete horror. How could this be? When he’d kissed her just now, her tongue had touched his. ‘Elise, what’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong, my lord. I can find my way back to the pavilion without your assistance.’

  Gawain’s heart sank. She was trying to get rid of him. Why? What was she hiding?

  At a recent visit to the Black Boar, Gawain’s friend Raphael, Captain of the Guardian Knights, had mentioned being concerned that counterfeiters had come to Troyes. Raphael seemed convinced they were hiding out in Strangers’ City. Gawain couldn’t believe Elise would have connections with counterfeiters, but it was possible. She was acting very oddly and he intended to find out why. ‘Elise, I’m coming with you.’

  Chapter Two

  Elise’s mind seemed to freeze as they walked towards the castle gatehouse to meet Gawain’s squire. Gawain couldn’t come back to the pavilion! She had no idea what Vivienne had said to him, but thankfully she didn’t appear to have given the game away. Gawain had mentioned twins—he must have seen both babies and assumed that they were Vivienne’s.

  He had no idea that he had fathered a child. As far as Elise was concerned that was all to the good. What would be gained by telling him?

  He was talking as they walked along. She struggled to pay attention.

  ‘So, Elise, you have done some performing since we last met?’

  ‘Yes, my lord.’ It was true, Elise had sung. A little. She had sung until she could no longer squeeze into Blanchefleur le Fay’s gowns and had been forced into retreat at Fontevraud Abbey.

  ‘Where did you sing—at Poitiers?’

  Elise gave the innocuous answers Gawain seemed to want. When they reached the castle, she was feeling decidedly panicky. What if he found o
ut about Pearl? How would he react?

  Gawain’s squire was waiting by the gatehouse.

  ‘My thanks, Aubin,’ Gawain said, taking the reins and swinging easily into the saddle. He offered her his hand.

  Elise stepped back. ‘My lord? You expect me to ride with you?’

  Gawain lifted an eyebrow. ‘You’ve already had me walking far more than I ought to have done. I’m a count, I’m expected to ride everywhere. What will it do to my reputation if you have me walking all the way to Strangers’ City?’

  Since when had Gawain cared what people thought of him? In any case, Strangers’ City wasn’t far. He was teasing, wasn’t he? A pang shot through her. One never quite knew with Gawain, but they used to tease each other a lot. She’d missed it. She put a hand on her hip. ‘And what about my reputation, my lord?’ The great horse’s nickname came back to her. ‘What do you suppose it will do to my reputation if I arrive at the pavilion on the back of The Beast?’

  He grinned. ‘Not on The Beast’s back, sweet. I’ll have you before me.’

  Before Elise had time to blink, Gawain was leaning out of the saddle at a crazy angle, taking hold of her around her ribcage. She heard herself squeak as her body thumped against the horse’s shoulder. It wasn’t seemly being pulled on to a destrier. Such a thing would never happen to Blanchefleur le Fay. No one would dream of treating her in such a way.

  ‘You make it harder on yourself if you struggle,’ he said, lips twitching. ‘Give in, Elise.’

  Something tugged on her veil, her skirts fluttered about her knees, her free arm tangled in the destrier’s reins before she found purchase, and then—another ungainly thump—somehow she was sitting sideways in front of him, gasping for breath.

  Dark eyes looked down at her. His lips curved.

  ‘Put me down, my lord, everyone is staring. This is most unseemly.’ Face hot, she pushed at her skirts.

  His arm tightened about her waist. ‘You needn’t fear. I won’t drop you.’